Break Up By Arrows
by The Linn
Summary: An interesting little thing I thought of. It seems a certain someone is handy with a bow and arrows! Rated T for language. I OWN NOTHING


**Alright, my peeps! I thought of this while I was watching the Tigers game (We won 5-2 against the Angels, yay!) So now I am writing this, and I hope that you all enjoy it!**

It was a paperwork day. One of the most hated days in the BAU, for all except one Doctor Spencer Reid. Reid had always found paperwork do be quite relaxing. Until he received a phone call from an old friend…

"Reid." He said, answering the phone.

"Spencer! It's Johnny!" A voice came out of the other end of the line, making Reid grimace. He had been dreading this day for a while now.

"Is she outside?" Reid asked. When he said "she", that had gotten the attention of Derek Morgan, who was sitting at his desk across from Reid.

"Mhm. Hurry up. Remember: 500 dollars!" Johnny said happily. Reid remembered why he was doing this. Johnny told him a couple nights ago that he would have his soon-to-be-ex-girlfriend stand outside the FBI Headquarters, and Reid would have to break him up from her because she was apparently a "completely psycho." Johnny wanted to make sure she stayed away, so he enlisted the help of one of his old friends to get the point through.

"I don't know if 500 dollars is worth it, but fine. I'll call you back once I'm done." Reid replied, waiting til Johnny said goodbye to close the phone. He began to walk away towards a storage closet where he hid the supplies he needed for his little plan.

"Where you going, kid?" Morgan called after him. He had heard Reid mention a "she" and 500 dollars on the phone, so he was interested.

"Can't talk now, busy." Reid called back. He opened the closet and saw his tools: a heavy duty bow with a large quiver of arrows next to it. Sliding the quiver over his shoulder, he grabbed the bow and closed the closet. When Morgan saw him coming back, shock plastered itself over his face.

"Reid…" He said cautiously, "What are you doing?"

"Busy Morgan." Reid replied, walking past his concerned co-worker. He went over to a window and opened it up. Taking out a pack of post-it notes and a pen, he hastily wrote a note on one of them. It read:

"_Dear Johnny's ex-girlfriend;_

_Johnny kindly asks that he and you end your relationship quietly, and that you stop calling, texting, and stalking him._

_Thank you very much, Johnny's friend,_

_Spencer Reid"_

Reid ripped the post-it note of the pad and stuck it to an arrow. He looked out the window, spotting the ex-girlfriend below. He put the arrow on the string of the bow, pulled back in aimed. Now this most definitely freaked Morgan out.

"_REID!_" He screamed, running over to the focusing archer. This alerted everyone in the BAU. Emily, Garcia, and JJ came running out of the break room, while Hotch and Rossi came out of their offices, all to see Morgan tackle Reid, who was holding a bow, about to shoot. They hit the ground hard.

"Morgan! I might not have another shot at this!" Reid argued, struggling out of his grasp.

"I'm not letting you kill someone with that! Do you even know how to shoot a bow and arrow?" Morgan asked Reid as he got up.

"As a matter of fact, I do. And I'm not going to kill anyone! I'm just doing a friend a favor." Once again, Reid pulled the string back, and releasing. The arrow flew, with note attacked, to an unpopulated part of the street. Standing there alone was the ex-girlfriend, Samantha. The arrow hit the wall right next to her head, planting itself firmly in the brick. She was shocked, but the shock turned to anger as she read the note. She looked up at the window and saw Reid, along with the other BAU members barely visible behind him, trying to see what he was shooting at. Angrily, Samantha threw the note to the ground and flipped Reid the bird.

"Johnny was right, she is a psycho." Reid muttered, as he wrote another note.

"_You are really a psycho! Listen, if you stalk him anymore I promise to come and arrest you, got it?_"

Reid stuck the new note to another arrow, aimed, and shot it. It planted itself in the wall, right next to the first. Samantha grabbed this note, read it, then threw it to the ground. She took out her phone to call someone, most likely Johnny.

"Ha, oh no you don't!" Reid laughed a bit as he quickly loaded another arrow, and with professional accuracy, shot it. The arrow cleanly took the phone right out of her hand, stabbing it into the wall with sparks and wires flying. Samantha's eyes were both infuriated and surprised. She flipped Reid the bird one more time as she stormed away down the street. Reid laughed and took out his own phone, calling Johnny. He put it on speaker and set it down, since he would most likely drop the phone because his arms were full with the bow and arrows.

"Did you do it?" Johnny's excited voice came out of the speaker.

"Yup. You, my man, owe my 500 dollars now!" Reid laughed as he heard Johnny cheering in the background.

"So worth it! I don't think I could have stood that psycho bitch much longer!" Johnny cheered.

"Look, I gotta go. Meet you at Scotty's tonight?" Reid asked, referring to their favorite bar.

"It's a plan, see you tonight!" Johnny laughed and the line went dead. Reid looked up to see the BAU, still standing there in silent shock.

"You know I'm much more interesting than you think." Reid said casually, walking away.

"Is that so?" JJ called after him.

"I just did a break up via bow and arrows for a good friend of mine, what do you think?"

**Well I hoped you like that! Turned out much longer than I intended, but it's for you all! Now I must go, basketball tryouts are in 20 minutes and I'm still wearing my Tigers jersey. Promise to update _Thrown To The Future_ when I get home!**

**The Linn**


End file.
